The funny thing about rain

prayer from September 13, 2009
Lord,
I am in a dry land spiritually right now. Please forgive me and help me to escape into the rain.
journal entry October 18, 2009
THE funny thing about escaping into the rain however, is this; I always try to protect myself from it so I don't get wet. AND i fear this is exactly what i do with love. I decided to run in the rain yesterday. It was misty rain but constant and cold. Had I not been protected, I would've been chilled to the bone. Love can have the same effect, penetration to the bone. As I ran i had so many thoughts on running, rain, love and spiritual connectedness. First thought i had or that was given to me..rain and love. I really do enjoy running in the rain. It is refreshing and reviving ~ kind of like love. Rain is also purifying like love. I typically "layer up" to run in the rain just like i look to love. I don't want to get too wet because that would be uncomfortable. And honestly more than I would like to admit, i don't want to love because it is too costly- too much of a risk to open myself up to hurt, abandonment or rejection...to loosing it. Yes, i love but i fear not enough or with enough abandon. When i run, i also protect my heart. My arms start out by my side but invariably my left arm comes up in front of my heart, UNLESS...i am in shape and confident- ready to let loose and run strong, then my arms stay down. When i am spiritually in shape and confident in Christ- then i am ready to love and live not giving it a second thought. I "love" the idea of love but actually living it out is exhausting, costly and yet, i have a feeling completely worth it! LORD, may i love with abandon. I want to run in the rain not afraid of getting chilled to the bone! Amen